@ATSB - To all my frenz

i was there but i can do nothing. i saw them doing things that islam refrain us to do, but i just stand static. sometimes i, myself, participate with them. talking something that never make me remember Allah. we're just wasting our time by doing thing that never benefited islam. the things that differentiate me and them are i called myself "da'i". the term that supposedly gives me energy to stop people from doing wrong things, tell people the truth of islam, explain islam to our frens from other religions, and improved myself as well. but i failed to do that. not only fail to spreads the truth to people but i fail to myself. i dont know how longer i will stay at last level of iman, the weakest iman that can only stop ma'siat by hate it with my heart. do i really hate that wholeheartedly? i dont know.
if i same with them in term of actions and conversations, what differentiate us? we are same. everytime i think about my classmates, i will blamed myself of not showing them the good examples of mine. i always do stupid things that makes them disrespecting me. they know me as pious boy, always going to masjid after class for zuhr prayer, reciting al-Quran in the class etc but in term of study i failed. i would say, i totally failed. yup, maybe my grade is rather good compare to them but the attitudes of mine is questionable. i dont want to list out the bad examples of mine. but i should say that it disgusting me. i disappoint myself.
May Allah will forgive all my sins. To all my frens, am apologize for all things that happen through our four years of study together. if u see me doing wrong things, please, please and please tell me, advice me and if needed slamped me. For all 4SGS, all the best for our PSM* presentation next week. Ganbatte kudasai..........

Wallahua'lam

*PSM is stand for Projek Sibuk Memanjang..Hahaha